Its not too good a day..............

Not too good a day - nothing drastic happened. But perhpas, feelings were snowballed to a degree which i can feel im sliding towards the depression arena. But of coz, i am able to handle this better than 3 years ago....Take a deep breath and i will be okie.

Thinking alot about the job.....losta things. Think too much that i dont feel like penning it down here again....went for a drink, just talk with someone, and yeah...see a lil more light now. but still, people couldnt make a decision for me. The ultimate decision has to come from me.

Besides work, i just feel my personal space is empty. Just wish someone could fill the space. anyone thank you. Someone that can just make me happy and laugh. Someone whom all i need is to think about, and all worries will not stay in my mind.....

I kept the space for you, my dear, but ...i realised perhaps that you prolly wont come back, yet the space is still open. Am i being silly....

Read this passage from a book, and i thought, its nice.

Here goes:

Time will Heal Our Wounds

Trouble passes. WHat has caused you to burst into tears will soon be forgotten. You may remember that you cried but not what you did so! As we grow up and go through life, we are often surprised at how we lie awake at night, brooding over something that has upset us during the day, or how we nurse resentment against someone by letting the same thoughts run through our minds concerning how to have our own back. We may fly into a rage at the spur of the moment over something, and later wonder what it was that we were so angry about, and be surprised to realise what a waste of time and energy it had all been. We have deliberately continued being unhappy when we could have stopped being so and started thinking about something else which is more wholesome.

Whatever our troubles are, and however agrrieved we may feel, time will heal our wounds, but surely there must be something we can do to prevent ourselves from being hurt in the first place. Why should we allow others or our troubles to drain away our energy and make us unhappy? The answer is that they do not. It is we who make ourselves unhappy.

You may have some trouble in your working place but you shold not infect your home with a bad atmostphere. You should realise that there is an end to those problems. The solutions could be found in achieving freedom from our selfish desires, by eradicating all forms of confusion and ignorance.

Whenever we fail to find a solution to a problem, we are inclined to find a scapegoat, on whom we vent our frustration. We are not prepared to admit our own shortcomings. It is easier to put blame on others. In Fact, some even take pleasure in doing so. This is a completely wrong attitude to adopt. We must not show resentment towards others. We should do our utmost, painstakingly and calmly, to resolve our own problems. We must be prepared to face up any difficulties that we encounter.

For you: I maybe guilty of being pushy. But there is a reason why i wished to see you urgently. But maybe, i cant simply assume you can make time for me. I should respect the choices you have made.....